Our newspapers, our TV channels and even our Social Media is filled with so much of negative news; news of hatred, news of crime,news of scams and so on that any kind of additional negativity is a strict no for a majority of us. Those of us who believe in the Law of Attraction like to stay optimistic and positive in life. A lot of us don’t want to hear complaints on health issues, unfriendly behavior or anything that may cause us distress.
Friends over professionals
Fair Enough. I too choose to surround myself with people who talk about joys, blessings and stay optimistic. There maybe a large number of people who choose to do so too. Who then listens to the little boy who always got bullied in school but never mustered enough courage to say anything & resigned to the fact that being exploited was a common thing after all? Who would listen to the young girl who got sexually abused but was asked to keep quiet to save embarrassment to the family & who concluded that maybe it was her fault if someone did something wrong to her. Who would listen to all those children who carried the burden of fulfilling the unfulfilled dreams and every setback made them feel like a failure?
The easiest answer – a professional, a therapist! True. But how many of us can afford a therapist. Just forget the monetary aspect of it, how many of us can feel comfortable talking about our fears or our experiences? How many of us can trust somebody with our feelings? How many of us would find support among our loved ones to go seek a professional help rather than just ‘fix’ it ourselves? There maybe no statistics or data for the above but there is one about the number of suicides. The number of suicides reported in 2019 were around 1,39,000, which means so many people felt that dying was easier than the life they lived.
The role friends and loved ones can play
We may not be professionals who can counsel people on how to lead their lives. But we all can be good listeners. Despite wanting to be around positive people, let’s try and hear out someone when he/she comes to us with a problem, without being judgmental about it. Let us try to hear them out without any bias and give them reasons to trust us. Each one has his/her own journey in life. We may not be aware of the choices they had and the reasons for the decisions they made. Sometimes, people may not look for solutions, but just for support or just to vent out their frustrations or inner fear.
Let’s be a little kind to each other. While we try to spread positivity, love and cheer, let’s also be supportive to someone’s troubles. Despite what they may confide in, we ought to maintain our respect for the individual and not be opinionated about their troubles. Eventually, it may be only the medicines or talk sessions that may help and that depends on how troubled a person is. If it appears that the person is better off seeking professional help then we should just guide him/ her to do that rather than avoid the troubles. Why hesitate seeking professional help for any kind of stress or anxiety related issues when we don’t think twice before going to a physician for a flu or cold or any physical discomfort? Something as simple as insomnia could also be due to some other underlying issue.
Just being there
Listening to complaints can be daunting. Hence it is also important to identify if a person is really troubled or a habitual complainer. While the former may seriously need support, for the latter nothing may change the habit. So the next time, someone, particularly a happy go lucky and cheerful person comes to us with a problem, let us hear them out. That is all they may need.
Saving lives is not necessarily always about jumping into fire or into the water etc., sometimes it may also be about being a bit patient, taking out some time & listening and of course eventually encouraging professional help, if needed.
3 thoughts on “Listening maybe the best help …sometimes.”
I think that friends are so important to have to talk to to make sure one doesn’t get to the stage when they are in need of therapy, although it does often depend on the person.
Absolutely agree.. Getting the troubles off your chest and being able to share it with a confidante is a great thing indeed.
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Speaking to friends, seeking professional help is all fine, but these r temporary in nature. For permanent solution/cure is seek/learn meditation/Dhyan from enlightened ones. Only way v can erase DVD called vivid human memory unimaginative imagination of the mind from the brain is only through meditation; be it Vipasana, Dr Deepak Chopra, Osho’s Dhyan (The original & very powerful meditation master) or Jaggi Vasudev’s meditation or Sri Sri’s meditation (he is the best) or any other worthwhile, time tested meditation techniques various expert Yog/Yoga teachers can teach. Incidentally, there are 112 ways of meditation as per Vignan Vairabh. Indulge in meditation then u can weather the storm of Maya/illusion with awareness & relative ease without going crazy about negativity; b’cos negativity is part of life & Maya.